Immersed in Thought

It started as a relationship made from heaven, misunderstandings covered by grace and unconditional love, hurt that was yet bearable but pushed through to say "But I still love you" joy immeasurable that overflowed and overwhelmed the best of them, worry and concern that when it came through you could feel the overwhelming sensation of joy. But now, I can't sleep, I can't comprehend, that what we planned and set aside to make our pride and joy, you said I was your wife, your gem, your jewel, your treasure, something that can't be measured, you said I was your life, your everything, that you can't wait to make me your wife, yet I just can't understand how you disappeared just like that... No trace of you, no good-bye, no I'm sorry, no explanation of why my eyes are not able to close and my mind not able to put the pieces together.... so... I... Just..

Father can you hear the sounds that my heart is making, the glued pieces are coming unglued, the chaos of scattered pieces that are no longer fitting are not able to find the right place to go. Father, my heart is breaking, I'm in a state of awwwe, I have no words to explain.. I know you hear every breaking piece, every tear shedding, every image disappearing, every dream shattered.... I come to you broken into pieces... crawling not standing in my own right in the state that I'm in, again, and again, failed relationship

Father, if I ignored the signs, I'm sorry, if I did anything wrong, I'm sorry, if I had put them before you Lord I'm sorry, Father forgive me, make today better than yesterday, dry my tears and allow the Holy Spirit to engulf my heart to forgive and forget, move forward because there are so many counting on me.... strengthen me with your strength only you can give, love me with the love only you can give, direct my path and my feet the way only you can. Cause right now Lord the only thing that matters is You directing my Destiny... regardless I have to move forward.....let everything that surrounds me today remind me that you have my life, faith, joy, heart, future in your hands.

the only love I believe in .... is the love you have for me.

Amen....